02

Jan

The Serendipity of a New Year Ahead

I sit here thinking about the New Year ahead with much anticipation and mixed feelings. I’m excited for all the positive things to come this year (who isn’t!), but I know that all positive moments are only worth having if they can be recognized as such, in relation to more difficult moments. In 2013, I faced the aftermath of a difficult breakup, a move back home with my parents, the start of a new job, and a glimpse at what love could be. Some of these experiences were easier to handle than others, but it’s the time I spent with the friends and family I care for dearly that made all of it more than bearable.

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I’m not one to make resolutions. However, I thought it couldn’t hurt to reflect upon my dreams and translate them into steps toward achieving them so that I have more positive moments to look forward to. Here’s what I came up with:

1)      Find a job that I won’t mind waking up at 5:30am to go to. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made when you’re a young professional, but I strongly believe that if you can’t be happy with your work, you’ll be missing out on that sense of achievement you strive for.

2)      Be happier with the person I am. I always put my close friends and family before myself. The unfortunate part is that I don’t get the chance to appreciate myself. I would like to learn how to love myself without the approval of others, or at least to hit my stride in achieving this over time.

3)      Stop looking for love in all the wrong places. Just because you have history with someone and they understand things about you that strangers don’t, doesn’t mean that they are the better choice for a potential partner. What matters most is the effort that you and the other individual are putting into building a strong bond. If you’re afraid of looking like a fool, you stand no chance from the beginning.

It’s hard for me to say goodbye to 2013 because it was the best year of my life, at least thus far. I became the individual I aspired to be, while staying true to my personal philosophies. But, I move forward into 2014 knowing I can make this year even better than the last. I’m still the same person with the same dreams; I’ve just learned that achieving them can’t be put into common and unrealistic resolutions. Work and school have taught me over the years that planning and staying organized go a long way. This year, I’m going to leave all the important things in life, like love, to recognizing serendipitous moments that make me the happy person I already am. 

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24

Dec

Beauty: The Female Experience

Tonight I watched the great Tornatore’s film Malena, which really got me thinking about the meaning of beauty to each and every one of us, based on society and our perception of it. Of course, this is a broad statement that can bring about many different opinions, from men and women, but I think the idea surrounding beauty has been very poorly constructed.

In the film, the main character of Malena is just like any other stereotypical Sicilian woman: she’s a wife who she takes care of her family. But, because she is beautiful, she is singled out by being stared down as she goes about her daily activities. Men think Malena is a whore, sleeping around with every man in town with a sexual desire, while her husband is at war. Women believe that she is trying to sleep with their husbands and is only around to disturb the peace in their close-knit town. Unfortunately this isn’t just a problem in films. Beautiful women are often criticized as being a certain type that often doesn’t include character strength, intelligence, determination and kindness. If you’re beautiful, you must be sleeping with every man you can get your hands on, and if you’re average, you ought to be smart to compensate for the lack of so-called beauty. This quote from the movie sums the idea up very well:

“Here is her crime: her beauty! And from here, the envy, the lies, the disgrace that have deprived her even of a father’s trust! And yet, she herself is still in silent agony […] Does she have the right to yearn for, and to write a new ending to her own love story?”

This film really hit home for me because I didn’t always see myself as beautiful. I had acne in Grade 4 and onward, and I had braces in university. But, even when I was past those phases and moved a few steps close to “perfection”, I figured I must not be beautiful because I love things such as philosophical novels and always seemed to be pretty good at anything thrown my way. I concluded that a nerd could never be beautiful because of the way I was raised. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming my parents; I’m blaming the circumstances that have surrounded me up until this point in my life. It’s never easy to break away from the stereotypes that are set for women, but it’s important to try and push them away with an outright slap as opposed to ignoring them.

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Over time I learned to appreciate everything that makes me the beautiful individual I’ve worked hard to become. I try to grow from the experiences I’ve been through to construct my own beauty and not live in an image of duck face poses and impossibly white teeth. Like Malena, I go about my day as though the attention I receive, negative or positive, doesn’t matter. I’m not saying I’ll refuse a compliment or support from my friends, but building and recognizing your own beauty is the biggest battle you will ever encounter on your own, as you should. We’re all the same because we live every day in search of a purpose, but we all differ in our acceptance of true beauty and how it affects our perception of the world.

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23

Nov

Finding Home

What do you do when you don’t know where you belong? Do you try some place new until you decide you want to stay or do you choose a place to call home and make it work? Before I even moved to the big city of Toronto, I never quite felt like I belonged. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and friends I got to know in this town I grew up in; I’m just not sure it’s home for me.

While growing up, I was never the popular girl or the person others were envious of, but I was pretty content with who I was. I was never peer pressured into doing any of the significant things I didn’t want to, like drugs or going to parties. Some would call me too cautious, but I just saw it as always looking out for number one, myself. Because I went to such a small school, it gave me the opportunity to participate in as many extra-curricular activities I could think of. In short, I was the artistic, athletic, always-on-the-go nerd. I had close friends I enjoyed hanging out with, but I always found more pleasure in learning a new sport or becoming president of another club. However, in university, I got the chance to break free out my comfort zone for the first time. I had to meet new people I had never heard about before (in a small town, news travels pretty fast). I’m so glad that I started opening myself to being more sociable because I met two of my best friends there. Still, at that point in my life, I didn’t feel like I truly belonged. I had people who loved me and were there to support me no matter what, as they still are, but I needed more.

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I made the move to the city completely on my own, blinded. I wasn’t sure this was the right decision before or during my first few months there, but I gave it a shot. This place didn’t have family or friends for me when I first got there, but I made sure to take action and make the best of my time. Luckily for me, I made two amazing friends on my first day of classes, in my new program, at a new college. Did I mention this was all new to me and that I’d never done something so gutsy in my life? My everything was still about making good grades. But, I felt my life come crumbling down as I was falling out of love with my boyfriend at the time. I felt that, above all, I owed it to myself to be truthful about what I wanted out of life. Life to me wasn’t going to see my boyfriend every two months and calling wherever that was home. Home would be a place where I not only felt comfortable living in and was home to the ones I loved, but it would a place where I could grow as a person and challenge myself on a daily basis.Sometimes love for others isn’t enough. 

A great friend made me realize that no one could make me happier than myself. It didn’t matter if you go to the best schools, have the most supportive friends or join more clubs than anyone else probably ever has; all that ever matters is that you’re happy with where your soul is at. When you can truly appreciate who you are becoming as opposed to who you should be, you start living. I have always enjoyed caring for others, but I hadn’t realized until lately how amazing it feels to take care of you. I found my home and it was in the last place I’d ever look: where passion and happiness meet opportunity, in the form of a self-inspired individual. 

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19

Nov

12 Things That Put An Instant Smile On My Face

Being unemployed gives me more time to think than the average person, but this isn’t always a good thing. It can lead you to worrying too much about your self-worth and if you’re spending your time wisely, at least that’s how I’ve been feeling. The toughest part about not knowing where the future may take you is finding the right energy to drive your passion and goals; you need to find a way to keep motivated, or 12! I decided that, to encourage myself and others around me who may feel the same, I’d put together a list of things that keep me on track and put the biggest smile on my face.

1)      My best friends. They mean the world to me. They’re my support system and have helped me become the confident and strong woman I am today. They give me the courage to strive to become a better person and leave behind those who don’t take the time to be a part of my life, or at least ask about it.  

2)      Listening to kick-ass songs by pretty kick-ass artists. Music is the soundtrack to my life; I don’t know what I would do without some Swedish House Mafia, The Fray or Journey in my day. This is a pretty happy song to wind down your day to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inJtTG_DuU

3)      Ice cream! This sweet treat always finds a way to make me feel better, even if there was nothing wrong to start off with; put some cookie dough in there and you’ve found your way to my heart!

4)      Having a good conversation with a perfect stranger (a sane one of course). I find it refreshing to be able to spill my guts to someone who is willing to simply listen as opposed to thinking of an answer or witty reply to what I’m saying. I know they won’t judge me on my past actions, good or bad.

5)      Writing out my thoughts, especially the ones I’m too afraid to admit to myself out loud. My writing process usually involves a whole lot of semicolons and side notes, but I feel like I can breathe a little easier after I’ve shown my journal who is boss.

6)      Giving someone a reason to smile, every day. I used to go to this one coffee shop, where a barista once told me: “You have the best smile. Seeing it instantly puts me in a good mood.” From that day on, I’ve made sure to keep that up; you just never know who you’re going to make smile in return.

7)      Doing random research on a topic that has been intriguing me, and I’m not talking about creeping Facebook! This topic for me is usually anything having to do with the Italian Renaissance. It’s just one of those things that need no explanation because there is none other than the fact that it gets my mind going, which makes me happy.

8)      Getting a good workout in. This takes its own motivation to start, but once you keep it up, it will provide its own.

9)      Giving something new and exciting a shot! You won’t get too far by sitting around in your room watching Netflix all day, though it can be highly entertaining. To make my life more interesting lately, I started my own blog (how about that?!).

10)   Watching Christmas movies. I may not be a big fan of white fluffy snow in real life, but seeing it on the same screen as a mushy gushy holiday rom com makes me pretty happy. The holidays really do bring out the best in me.

11)   Dancing. This is one of the activities that cheers me up the most. I’m always excited to get up and dance, whether I’m taking a walk in public and a good song comes on or I’m in my room with the music turned up to try out new and potentially dangerous dance moves.

12)   Getting all dolled up for a night out with the girls, which usually involves putting on my favourite red lipstick. Wearing red on my lips and hitting the town gives me the biggest confidence boost; I feel fire red and on top of the world.

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Now it’s time for you (yes, you!) to think about the things that make you happy and kick it up a notch! What are you even waiting for?

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11

Nov

What Is Love? Baby, Don’t Judge Me

Love is a funny thing. No, not “haha” funny, but a concept that seems so foreign when you don’t have it around. I spent most of my day today thinking of my past relationship and how he affected the way I think about love. Here it goes.

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As I mentioned in my first post, this past year was a struggle for me mostly because of the relationship I was in and the breakup that followed. Just over three years ago, I met my ex through a mutual friend. We were out camping so I had comfortable clothes on and no makeup. Those who know me well know that there aren’t many people I feel comfortable presenting myself like this around. I was also really insecure at the time and I didn’t feel like I had much to offer anyone (which I have worked on a significant amount since). Everything was going really well that weekend; I didn’t feel too uncomfortable and I was laughing up a storm like my typical self. He seemed different. I didn’t have to act differently around him, nor did I have to question his feelings for me.

The downside to this “love” story is that he had to move 13 hours away the following week, though he wanted things between us to progress into a relationship. Typically I would run as quickly as I could in the opposite direction at the first sign of commitment or having to trust someone, but I didn’t. For the first time in my life, I decided to do something impulsive and take it one day at a time. Unfortunately, he betrayed that trust in the first two months of our relationship (that’s a whole other story) and that is when I began knowing all too well what a panic attack felt like. Never have I spent more time alone with my thoughts and tears than in the two years I spent in that relationship. I loved the fact that he pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me do impulsive things. I loved that he made me feel sexy for the first time in my life. I loved that he would show up and surprise me on occasion with something he had remembered me saying I wanted to have or experience. But, to this day, I question to what point I loved him at all. There is no doubt that I cared for him then more than any other guy and that it felt like love when I said it, but my feelings for him disappeared as quickly as he did when everything between us was just beginning.

At this point in my life, I don’t believe I’ve experienced the storm of emotions that supposedly come with love, but I’m open to what it could be. There are way too many rules surrounding its concept, including what it is, what it isn’t and what it should be.  Are you supposed to feel like you’ve gone crazy and think about them all the time? Are things supposed to feel free and easy? The plethora of love songs and rom coms out there don’t make it easy for anyone to build their own perspective on love. But, it all comes down to your past romantic relationships and how much they weigh on your current life. You just have to remember that taking chances is all part of the process of discovering what love can be and that you should never worry about feeling judged by the one you love or how you love them. 

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10

Nov

Late Night Thought: Defining Personal Relationships

As I lay here in bed at 3 AM with too much on my mind (this is nothing new), I question the relationships I now have with those in my life. Now, don’t define me as a cynic just yet; I’m just an insomniac with a wandering mind. I question if I can really have an impact on the lives of the individuals I connect with, whether it’s a childhood friend, an acquaintance I haven’t quite taken the opportunity to know better or a potential significant other.

We are often selfish when it comes to connecting with people, because we are taught to seek relationships we can profit from. It’s no one’s fault in particular, we were just taught to think that way. We want friends who will show up at our door with hugs and ice cream when needed and a romance with someone who will put your needs and feelings above anyone else’s, and sometimes even their own. However, I have learned that the only relationships worth having are the ones in which you take pleasure in helping the other person grow. You should also want to give them every reason to smile, even if only for a few seconds, because seeing them happy is one of the best parts of your day. If you do those things, you’ll quickly realize who wants the same for you.

Of course, there is nothing particularly wrong with wanting to profit from a relationship, but I see a positive relationship as the end result of having put the time into being a good friend or partner, as opposed to a predetermined criteria on a checklist. I am no stranger to seeking beneficial relationships from the start, just like anyone else, and I would never force my opinions on others. However, I hope you look at this personal thought as inspiration to help you define the relationships you have with those in your life. 

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07

Nov

New Beginnings!

Just like any other public relations practitioner, I have a story; that would be the story of how I got to where I am now and chose the “challenging” route to achieving success. I could have become a teacher like my parents always wanted me to but I wanted to do something that defined me and not what their perception of success was for me. The choice to pursue a career in PR brought me to the big city of Toronto where I enrolled in a Corporate Communications program and enjoyed the best and most difficult year of my life. Some say that enjoying life comes with simplicity and happiness, but I believe that the tough times I dragged myself out of in the past 12 months are what made me the person I am today. I learned that respect is earned, dreams are meant to be accomplished and, above all, that writing is the best form of therapy.

I would be lying to you if I told you I’m just a simple small town girl who wants to achieve big things. Truthfully, I am a girl who has been looking for a passion in life and has found it in PR. I don’t just think about achieving big things, I do anything I can to make sure that I achieve them, even if that means temporarily living at home in that small town I initially left.

In this blog, I hope to share with you all my personal and professional experiences as a twenty-something in search of more things to be passionate about in life.

Alla prossima! (Till next time!)Image

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