As I lay here in bed at 3 AM with too much on my mind (this is nothing new), I question the relationships I now have with those in my life. Now, don’t define me as a cynic just yet; I’m just an insomniac with a wandering mind. I question if I can really have an impact on the lives of the individuals I connect with, whether it’s a childhood friend, an acquaintance I haven’t quite taken the opportunity to know better or a potential significant other.

We are often selfish when it comes to connecting with people, because we are taught to seek relationships we can profit from. It’s no one’s fault in particular, we were just taught to think that way. We want friends who will show up at our door with hugs and ice cream when needed and a romance with someone who will put your needs and feelings above anyone else’s, and sometimes even their own. However, I have learned that the only relationships worth having are the ones in which you take pleasure in helping the other person grow. You should also want to give them every reason to smile, even if only for a few seconds, because seeing them happy is one of the best parts of your day. If you do those things, you’ll quickly realize who wants the same for you.

Of course, there is nothing particularly wrong with wanting to profit from a relationship, but I see a positive relationship as the end result of having put the time into being a good friend or partner, as opposed to a predetermined criteria on a checklist. I am no stranger to seeking beneficial relationships from the start, just like anyone else, and I would never force my opinions on others. However, I hope you look at this personal thought as inspiration to help you define the relationships you have with those in your life.